You are not alone, and you do not need to know everything. This page will walk you through it, one gentle step at a time.
إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُونَ
To Allah we belong, and to Him we return. (2:156)
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Take a breath. Allah is with you. There is no rush in this minute — only a few gentle things to do, one at a time.
Say it slowly, as many times as you need. Allah promises those who say these words at a loss His blessings, mercy and guidance.
إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُونَ
Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un — To Allah we belong, and to Him we return.
Source:2:156
With a soft hand, close the eyes of your loved one. The Prophet ﷺ did this for Abu Salamah and said: "When the soul is taken, the sight follows it." It is an act of love, not a task.
Source:Muslim 920
Drape a clean sheet over the whole body, as the Prophet ﷺ himself was covered with a cloth after his passing. If you are able, gently straighten the arms and legs while the body is still soft.
Source:Bukhari 5814
Ask Allah to forgive them and raise their rank. The Prophet ﷺ taught that the angels say "ameen" to whatever is said in that room — so let every word be good.
اللَّهُمَّ اغْفِرْ لَهُ وَارْفَعْ دَرَجَتَهُ فِي الْمَهْدِيِّينَ
Allahumma-ghfir lahu wa-rfa' darajatahu fil-mahdiyyin — O Allah, forgive them and raise their rank among the rightly guided.
Source:Muslim 920
Call the closest family, then your masjid or local Muslim funeral service. You do not have to know what comes next — they will walk with you through everything. It is fine to hand your phone to someone and let them make the calls.
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These can be shared out. You do not have to do them all yourself, and none of them needs to be perfect.
Most masajid have someone who handles janazah from start to finish — ghusl facilities, the shroud, the prayer, and the cemetery. Ask them what documents are needed in your country (death certificate, burial permit); they arrange these routinely.
A man is washed by men and a woman by women; a spouse may wash their own husband or wife. Close, trustworthy relatives of the same gender are preferred, but the masjid team can do it with dignity if the family cannot. You may simply be present, or step away — both are allowed.
Source:Ibn Majah 1465
The Prophet ﷺ taught us to hurry with the funeral — it honours the deceased. Do not delay for distant travellers unless the wait is short; those who cannot come can pray for them from wherever they are.
Source:Bukhari 1315
Debts are settled from the estate before anything is inherited — the Prophet ﷺ said the believer's soul remains attached to their debt until it is paid. Today, just write down what you know of; paying can follow in the coming days.
Source:Tirmidhi 1078
Cry freely; the Prophet ﷺ himself wept and said "the eye sheds tears and the heart grieves." What Islam asks us to leave is wailing aloud, striking the face and tearing clothes. If someone begins to wail, hold them gently and remind them with kindness.
Source:Bukhari 1294
Four stages, always in this order. You only need to understand the shape of it; the masjid team knows the details.
The body is washed with water an odd number of times — three, five, or more — with modesty preserved throughout, as the Prophet ﷺ instructed for his own daughter. Lote-leaf (sidr) is used in the water and camphor in the final wash.
Source:Bukhari 1253
A man is wrapped in three plain white sheets, as the Prophet ﷺ himself was shrouded. A woman is wrapped in five pieces, following the practice transmitted from the shrouding of the Prophet's ﷺ daughter (related in Sunan Abi Dawud). Simple and white — nothing costly is required.
Source:Bukhari 1264
A short standing prayer with no bowing or prostration — four takbirs. After the first: praise of Allah (the thana; many, following Ibn 'Abbas, also recite al-Fatihah — Bukhari 1335). After the second: salawat upon the Prophet ﷺ (the durood of tashahhud). After the third: sincere du'a for the deceased — this is the heart of it. After the fourth: a brief pause, then the salam. If you don't know the words, stand with the rows and pray from your heart.
Source:Tirmidhi 1024
The deceased is lowered into the grave and laid on the right side, facing the qiblah, with the words "Bismillah wa 'ala millati Rasulillah" — in the name of Allah and upon the way of His Messenger. Those present may cast three handfuls of earth. Afterwards, stand a while and ask Allah to forgive them and keep them firm.
Source:Tirmidhi 1046
Words the Prophet ﷺ gave to grieving people. Read them slowly.
When the Prophet's ﷺ own grandchild lay dying, he sent these words to his daughter: "To Allah belongs what He took and to Him belongs what He gave, and everything with Him has an appointed term — so be patient and hope for His reward." Your loved one was never lost; they were returned.
Source:Bukhari 1284
Death does not end a believer's account of good. The Prophet ﷺ said that three things continue after a person dies: ongoing charity they left behind, knowledge that still benefits people, and a righteous child who prays for them. Every du'a you make for them reaches them.
Source:Muslim 1631
"True patience is at the first stroke of calamity," said the Prophet ﷺ. That means this very hour — the hardest one — is where the greatest reward lies. You do not have to feel strong for it to count; you only have to keep turning to Allah.
Source:Bukhari 1283
The Prophet ﷺ said: "Amazing is the affair of the believer — all of it is good for him, and that is for no one but the believer. If ease reaches him he is grateful, and if hardship strikes him he is patient — and both are good for him." Even this grief, carried with patience, is being written for you as good.
Source:Muslim 2999
For those coming to console — and for the family receiving them.
Simple, sincere words are the sunnah: "Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un" (2:156); "May Allah magnify your reward, perfect your consolation, and forgive your beloved"; or the Prophet's ﷺ own words of comfort — "To Allah belongs what He took... so be patient and hope for reward" (Bukhari 1284). A warm presence, a short du'a, and a listening ear are worth more than long speeches.
أَعْظَمَ اللَّهُ أَجْرَكَ، وَأَحْسَنَ عَزَاءَكَ، وَغَفَرَ لِمَيِّتِكَ
A'zam Allahu ajrak, wa ahsana 'aza'ak, wa ghafara li-mayyitik — May Allah magnify your reward, grant you the best consolation, and forgive your deceased.
When news of Ja'far's ؓ death came, the Prophet ﷺ said: "Prepare food for the family of Ja'far, for there has come to them what occupies them." Neighbours and relatives should cook and send food to the bereaved — not arrive expecting to be hosted.
Source:Tirmidhi 998
Condolence in the sunnah is brief and light on the family. Fixed, obligatory-feeling mourning gatherings on set days, treating condolence as a multi-day hosted event the family must cater, and loud lamentation were not the way of the Prophet ﷺ — the Companions counted burdening the family with gathering and feeding as a form of wailing (Ibn Majah 1612). Families differ in custom and scholars differ on some details; whatever is done, keep it simple, unburdensome, and full of du'a rather than formality.
Source:Ibn Majah 1612
